Still Getting Props for Being on the Soup!

Yes, Oprah has had a new show this week that I should be blogging about.  And I will.  It's about getting kids to appreciate what they have and getting them to give back.  I am a teacher and I'm big on all that.  I would like to send each of my students to India for a few weeks to give them some real perspective, but we'll get to that after I watch that show and blog. 

For now, I have to tell you that people keep saying "I saw you on The Soup!"  Fortunately E! shows the same episode several times, over and over, throughout the week.  So my fan base continues to grow.  Also, we got one of the grills.  After three simple hours of putting it together,  it stands like a gleaming soldier on our back porch.  Word on the street:  two pair of Fit Flops arrived today.  The Oprah Hot Picks show threatens to permeate the entire summer; and I mean that in a good way.  

I am not cleansing.  Oprah is doing the 21 day cleanse.  I am not.  Sharks opened for crying out loud.  They make homemade ice cream.  I've biked there, 10.2 miles, twice, just to have some. It's THAT good.  And I like to drink tea everyday...that's positive caffeine, right? 

Next up, I'm going to answer a question on Oprah's home page on how she changed my life. Maybe I'll cut and paste it for tomorrow's blog.  All things Oprah.  

THE SOUP MOCKS ME!

Yes, hitting the jackpot on Oprah's Hot Picks for Summer is a huge deal.  How about the fact that the local paper also highlighted the fact that my husband I were seen on the Oprah show? Also a big deal.  This experience has been wonderful and is of course about to fade away.  Right?  Wrong!!  Wrong times a million, I say.  THE SOUP on E! did a whole running gag on Oprah's big give away show.  And guess who showed up three times?  That's right: Me!  AND Joel, the host even mocks me and my screaming NOOOOOOO!   AND apparently a lot of people who know me watch The Soup on E!.  And my YAYAs, family, book clubbies, and students and friends still have not given me the "get over yourself" speech,  so I am still riding high and taking them with me for lots of laughs and giggles.

gles.  

REPEAT of A TOUGH ONE

Had I not been blogging, I'm not sure I would re-watch this repeat episode that Oprah showed today.  In fact, it is such a powerful episode, I probably don't even need to watch it again. I remember it well.  A family is returning from a wedding, in a limo, when they are struck by a drunk driver.  The limo driver is killed and ultimately the scene ends with a desperate mother holding the head of her decapitated child by the side of the road.  Her pain is so raw, so real; it's tangible through the screen.   Oprah rightly uses her platform to remind us not to drink and drive.  Not even one drink.  It's not worth the pain it can cause.  

One of the first to come to the aid of the victims,  was a relative.  His brother, Neil, was in the car.  He saw him, alive, but in the wreckage of the demolished vehicle.  His sister-in-law, Jennifer,  came out of the car with her daughter's head.  It's been two years, but the Flynns look as devastated as if it were mere days ago.  You absolutely would have to watch this show to get any sort of a grasp of the depths of this pain.  You have to see all the people who have been hurt and damaged.  Not that you can understand, but at least you can try.   Oprah asks if the joy can come back and the family insists no.  They can't recover, not without Katie.  I don't pretend to know.  I do want to send my prayers to this family.  Prayers for some peace, some joy to return.  I do believe it's possible.  

Roz accidentally ran over her grandson Jackson.  She can't forgive herself.  Doesn't want to.  Dr. Robin reminds her that torturing herself will not redeem her.  Don't stay stuck, says Oprah.  Jackson's dad even says Jackson himself would not want his grandmother to be in this pain.  Sending more prayers.  We all can use all the grace we can get.  Now that I do know from experience.

DREAMY NATE

You may have heard that I went to the Oprah show.  She gave away a lot of goodies that day and people are constantly asking me what am I going to do with it all.  They are even asking all my friends if they have any insider knowledge of what I am doing with it....especially the grills.  The huge 175 pound Weber Grills.  I got one.  My husband got one.  We have two.  They are big, heavy duty, steadfast.  Other people want them.  I sometimes want to start an  "Oprah Gave Me This Grill Museum"  just so I can say, "Oh that grill is in the museum.  Sorry, you can't have it."  Then I thought, maybe Nate could come build that museum for me.  Well, apparently not.  Nate's busy building something else.  So great, it's a whole Oprah episode (not that the building of my "Oprah Gave Me This Grill Museum" would be something to sneeze at or anything).

Nate is fabulous at home makeovers.  He imagines possibilities most of us can't. Now this is a repeat.  But one worth watching.  Oprah rewards an Aunt and Uncle who have their own son, but take in their three nieces.  The girls are adorable.  Aunt Carrie and Uncle Dave took custody of the girls, but four kids need a lot of care and cost a lot.  Family first; furniture second.  Nate takes a little tract home and turns it into a dream home, with a dream yard.  He took into consideration each person's wants as he created the all the rooms, especially the bedrooms.  Everything is new and shiny and beautiful.  Just like the happy family.  I can't wait to see what Nate has in store for the Grill Museum.  

 

OCD BOOT CAMP WITH DR. OZ

Dr. Oz held a boot camp for some people with obsessive compulsive disorder.  If you need treatment, you might as well get help from the best; if you don't know, that's Dr. Oz.  Six people with OCD meet Dr. Oz in the shadow of the Rocky statue in Philadelphia.  Looks like they are in for a fight.  It's good to have Dr. Oz in your corner, then, I guess.

Kate is obsessed with cleanliness and terrified of germs.  Yet, she has five kids.  There have to be germs EVERYWHERE!  Kate spends five hours a day cleaning.  My husband might drop dead if I spent five hours a week cleaning.  I'd be serving food off my floor if I cleaned that much.  Don't get me wrong, this isn't a funny disease.  Brian lost his wife and job and can barely leave his house because of his fear of germs. Corbin also is afraid of germs.  April is in constant fear that her food is poisoned.  Janene and Kathy worry about death and fear negative thoughts.  Dr. Oz knows there's no miracle cure, but he's there to help.  He and Dr. Grayson are going to use exposure therapy at a campground to cause the six to face their fears. 

The six will have to face all they have lost due to OCD.   Lost jobs, lost family, lost time. What makes no sense to us; makes perfect sense to those with OCD.  Dr. Grayson has everyone start with a group hug.  It's a great metaphor for taking the pain, the fear, the problems and embracing it all.  A first step.  Other steps include putting hands on the floor and then in the mouth.  Stepping on clean sheets that will be on beds.  Terror inducing actions to people who fear germs.  It's like telling me I have to sleep with a snake.  Uh, sorry, there's no way.  But Dr. Oz says we are not our thoughts.  So these six have to face the fearful thoughts to find freedom.

Fears can be prisons.  Freedom comes through facing the fears.  Rebirth came to the six.  A chance to live outside of the confines of OCD.  We all can feel trapped at times and with a little help can find a way out.  

LOOK AND FEEL YOUNGER: TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE?

Everyone wants to look younger.  This is a youth obsessed culture.  I admit it; I want to look younger too.  There comes a point where straight out lying doesn't cut it anymore.  Feeling youthful - even better.  Because, well, there comes a point when falling down means something might break.  Looking and feeling younger: that sounds too good to be true.  But Oprah says it can happen - in 21 days.  

Norma Jean was put in a sound-proof box on the street.  Strangers (some not looking so good themselves) judge her and her skin, her teeth, her age.  She hears the dreadful comments later. Now, I'd be saying some judgmental comments back, but that's not really what the experiment is all about.  On average, the judgers thought Norma Jean was 50, but she's only 41.  The audience ooohed and awwwed appropriately at the discrepancy, but viewers know a shinier version of Norma Jean will be displayed soon.  Norma Jean is a single mom, who's tired and she is most likely her biggest critic.  Don't we all see our own flaws best?  Usually, we know them by heart.  This was not your average make-up and hair make over.  N.J. got the works.  Eyelid lift, lipo, veneers on her teeth.  Norma Jean came out looking great.  And she feels great.  And she gets to show it all off on the Oprah stage.

Zena is also a single mom.  Zena's a make-up artist, but hasn't been making her own self up.  The judges come back and say 53 years old; she's 44.  Up first, the dentist.  I've been saying it for years: TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH!  Skip the movies, dinners out, new clothes - get to your dentist.  Zena basically needed dental care and a chemical peel and now instead of having teeth that show she smokes, she comes out smoking hot!

Katherine isn't 51; she's 41.  Another single mom who wants her youth back.  She wants to look shiny and new.  Some botox, skin peels, and eye surgery,  and she comes out DEFINITELY looking younger.  Katherine is no longer going to lose the balance of herself.  That's a true make over.  Kimberly is a former marine, another single mom with bad teeth.  She's ignored her teeth, her skin and her glasses - she's had them since the 11th  grade.  She's 34, but others think she's 42.  TLC does another make over....starting with veneers.  More botox and lasik surgery.  (Did I mention the 'before' image of the ladies is no longer just some poster or video image.  Oprah has a hologram of the women that appears on stage.  She said hello to the first one.  Then in true Star Trek fashion, the holograms sizzle and dissolve.  I've seen every show for 20 years; this is new!)  Kimberly comes out in Oprah's favorite color and with a bounce in her step.  Kimberly is now a model, and with those new teeth, I can see why!

Dawn recently lost over one hundred pounds.  She is missing teeth from an assault.  The make over will help her move on from the past.  It's been twenty years since the assault, but she's got a smile that is dazzling now and she came out strong and changed.  Tracy is going to change too.  She's not confident.  She needs injections and veneers.  Have I mention how important teeth are?  AND was that Dr. Weiss that she got to visit?  Premiere NYC dermatologist? Tracy is only 40 and has her confidence back after that fab forty make over.

Not  everyone has the bucks for plastic surgery and botox.  So, next up: Self Makeovers.  Judy worked on her mind, body, and spirit after her husband left her.  Working on one and not the other just isn't good enough.  After two years, Judy came out to a standing ovation and deserved it.  She went from a size 18 to 8.  She worked on her beauty from the inside out and I'm telling you her husband is somewhere regretting letting her go.  And if he's not, he's crazy and she should be glad she lost those extra crazy pounds called an ex-husband. Leslie lost some extra weight when her husband left her (two days before the grand opening of her new business -who are these men?) and again, looks a lot better without him.

Author Kathy Freston made lots of bad decisions about her looks, her relationships, and her habits.  But, she too found the mind, body, soul connection and gave herself a make over, a life make over.  Her book QUANTUM WELLNESS can help you on your journey to a full and engaged life.  First step:  meditation.  I call it prayer.  Centering yourself and focusing on your spirit and God's spirit.  For some, it's just getting quiet.  Next up, Kathy Freston says you have to consider conscious eating.  (Oprah said she is considering becoming a vegetarian.  Just considering; so back off, beef industry!)  

BIG NEWS!  Bigger than the hologram.  Oprah's BLOGGING.  She's doing a 21 day cleanse and is blogging about it.  I'm only slightly jealous.  I mean her blog will be about her.  My blog is about her, but I assume she'll have a tad larger viewing public than I will.   More NEWS!  Oprah says she is working too much and doesn't have fun.  So hard to believe.  She always looks like she is having a riot on the show.  Even though, yes, it is her job.  But isn't it fun riding on the back of a snowmobile with Tom Cruise?  Isn't it fun being on stage with Cher and Tina?  I guess if that's your job, then it's a different kind of fun.  Oprah needs to get her gal pals together and walk and laugh and maybe play some Guitar Hero.

This 21 day cleanse is no joke!  You give up (for 21 days) caffeine, gluten, sugar, alcohol, and animal products.  Wow!  Talk about NOT having fun.  And I don't drink coffee or eat a lot of sugar or meat.  Still.  Just fruits and veggies.  I'd be so hungry.  I like bread and cheese.  But Kathy Freston says "progress, not perfection."  So it'd be worth a try.  I wish I had someone to shop and cook for me.  I bet it'd be easier then.  But I don't, and even though yesterday I said Oprah's my Mary Tyler Moore, I don't think I can do the cleanse.  I like bread and cheese.  But there's always this summer - maybe I'll lean into the concept then. 

MARY OPRAH MARY OPRAH

Oprah loves Mary.  Mary Richards.  Mary Tyler Moore brought her and her entire cast to Oprah's studio.  Oprah brought Mary her former work place and her former apartment.  Oprah grew up admiring Mary Richards, her independence, her tacit permission that it is okay to be single and a working gal.  A novel concept in the 70s.  

Oprah wanted to be Mary.  She wanted to go to Minneapolis and be a news woman for WJM-TV.  Shall I just go there?  Oprah is my Mary.  Okay, it's been said and we can move on.  I get Oprah.  We all need someone who makes us want to be our best, to step out of ourselves, to help us realize our dream.  When Oprah's staffers surprised her with a guest appearance from Mary some years ago, Oprah went to the ugly cry.  Today, she said there have been no surprises since then.  I get that emotion.  Most women with role models also get it.  Thanks, to Mary for inspiring Oprah.  Thanks to Oprah, for inspiring me.

The whole cast still has it.  Chemistry that is.  It was fun to see them all together and see that energy re-created.  Oprah's staff did an incredible job.  And guess what?  They put that show together sometime after 11 am for the next taping.  This was the show that was taped after my Hot Picks For Summer show.  I don't know how they did it, but they got an incredible set of stages set up.  Now, don't get me wrong.  It wasn't better than the stage for my show.  The energy wasn't greater.  But then again, I'm biased.  Mary coming to Oprah, well that's history making for them.  My getting to Oprah; that was history making for me.  

THE GLORIOUS AIRING AND AFTERMATH

This is me.  The perfect representation of the incredible disbelief combined with unadulterated joy as I realized I was at Oprah's Hot Picks for Summer show.  A Favorite Things show: summer edition.  I had dreamed for 20 years about going to the show.  I had watched many Favorite Things Shows filled with envy and desire.  I wanted simply to see Oprah.  To visit her show.  A Favorite Things show seemed too good to be true, yet it came true.  I blogged about it in great detail in my last blog entry, so no need to go down that path again.  

Now to the airing of the show.  What would that feel like?  To see the televised version of one of the happiest days of my life.  Could it live up to my memories.  Spoiler alert - YES!  It could.  It did.  

My mom brought the cider.  Longtime friend Barb Scira arrived around 3 pm;  Friend since kindergarten and present day colleague, Shelley,  arrived with another teacher, Carrie, around 3:45.  They brought a cookie cake that was frosted with the epitaph "FIRST OPRAH; NEXT THE OSCARS."  I tried to cut and distribute to keep my mind off the upcoming show.  I wanted Molly and Karen there, but they were no shows.  Was this ordained because I wasn't even going to be seen once in the audience?  Why have any doubts or disappointments? Nothing could diminish my experience. Besides, my YaYas were there.  One in person, two via text and cell.  Kimberly Staples and Lois Brady are riveted to their sets in Georgia and New Hampshire, respectively.  They have supported and encouraged all my dreams, not just this one, so now I must sit down.  Every settle in - it's about to begin.  It does.  I can almost touch the excitement.  I am reliving the thrill.  

Oprah starts the show.  I feel the anticipation as if I am experiencing it all anew.  Oprah makes the fabulous announcement of the show's topic; the one that brings the crowd chaotically to its collective feet.  I relive that exhilaration, that joy;  and then it happens.  There is a close up of a screaming blonde.  It's me.  I get to see my feelings acted out.  No, not acted.  They are real.  Raw.  It's incredible.  I'm screaming NNOOOOOO!!! As in no, I can't believe this dream is real.  It's beautiful.  They showed me.  The dream is getting even better.  Friends start to call.  My sister, Kerry, first.  We just shout into the phone with joy.  My friend Karen calls at every break.  She is there with me after all.  A student who did not know I was going to be on is randomly watching and calls.  Later come many emails;  my favorites from my former students, from the early 1990s, who REALLY get what this means to me.  I get to celebrate later at a middle school dance with many students who watched and cared.

I'm sensing my incredible lack of ability to convey what this all felt like.  These are just facts; words laying on this blog.  Not alive like the experience.  I can't do better than this because the words can't be full enough or big enough.  I did feel bad my husband did not make it on screen with me in that first close up. I never imagined I would see myself again, and thus my husband....yet that happened.  We are on at least 5 times.  Cheering, clapping, hugging, staring at each other incredulously; waving vigorously to Donald Trump. I mean, the experience was enhanced because Brian was there, and we are both shown enjoying it over and over!  Those who watched, and the two of us, got our money's worth.  Those who missed?  Well, I have shown it on DVR and on video dozens of times already; and am ready, willing and able to do that some more!!

A DREAM REALIZED

Finally, after 20 YEARS, I got tickets to Oprah.  I am blogging with joy knowing this dream has come to fruition.  My husband, Brian, and I left at 4 am, Monday, the 28th of April, 2008 for the Windy City.  We arrived in  Chicago at 2 pm (when I woke up from my back seat nap, Brian had us halfway there.)  We checked into our hotel and, of course, had to do a dry run down to the studio.  We took the train and walked 8 blocks in the FREEZING rain (Brian was in shorts and soaked to the bone).  I'll never forget cresting a small knoll in the sidewalk and seeing the infamous O of Harpo Studios.  In my normal quiet voice, I shouted "there it is!!"  Freezing Rain, you will punish me no more.  I feel only joy!

Many thoughts run through our heads, which are now covered with shirts we are using as scarves.  The studio is an entire city block.  There is a limo with the name J. O'Neil on a sign (we later learn he is a chef).  We begin to desperately seek clues regarding the show's topic.  Around another corner, we see a tour bus with a guitar painted on it and a large semi pulling some sort of ginormous steel cradle - which we later learned would hold the huge ball of water that David Blaine submerged himself in to break the breath-holding record.  But for now, we only think of our show and wonder.  A worker comes out a door;  innocently we ask. "What's all this?"  She will not even make eye contact; her head is lowered; she walks away.  THIS SHOW MUST BE HUGE, we think.  Why else the limos, the buses, the secrecy?

Sensing pneumonia is imminent, we walk/jog back to the train; coats now serving as soaking wet scarves that are barely staving off the chills.  This helped to solidify our decision to ditch the train idea and park across from the studio.  We'll get up and bring our car downtown.  The dry run paid off; we knew what to do.  We hustled back to our hotel, The Write Inn.  It had something to do with Hemingway, but heck, we weren't there to sight see; we were there for Oprah.   Even the Chicago skyline had been clouded by fog wen we rolled into town; nothing could take our focus off O.  We took hot showers, twenty minutes long, to help restore our core body temperatures.  We then got dressed and went out for food, deli-style.  We had to make it short and sweet.  We had to get back and get set for the next day: the big day.  

We decided to go to bed early - 7 pm.  After all, we were getting up at 4 am for the second day in a row.  We needed to go to sleep.  But I could not:  my thoughts swirled.  What would tomorrow bring?  After 20 years, my dream would be realized, what would that mean?   Brian also could not sleep.  He blamed it on the fact I had the heat so high that he thought I might be cooking a small turkey, or just perhaps just boiling his insides.  He got up and did some pacing.  We were semi-resting by 11 pm.  But still waiting.

Four a.m. did come early, but excitement caused me to bounce from my bed.  We were dressed and out the door, packed and on our way to the studio by 5 am.  We stopped for tea, coffee, and muffins on the way.  We took Washington Blvd. to the studios. 

 We park; pay our $25, and head across the street to Harpo.  People are already lining up, but I feel calm, joyful.  We are numbers 55 and 56 in line.  We are in the inside part of the line.  Soon, so many come, they are outside, and it's cold.  I have my winter coat on, in fact.  Along with tan boots, jeans and a beige and blue top.  Purple, green, and hot pink just weren't colors that were working for me.  Brian is in jeans, a blue oxford, and a red tie.  The line is buzzing - what's the show topic?  Will it be a give away show?  A big star?  May sweeps is upon us after all!!!  People are friendly; surprisingly, I am friendly back.  Stress and nerves are not making me edgy.  I'm in the moment and happy.

The doors open at 6:30 and in we go.  More waiting, filling out forms, checking our coats and purses - of course, I didn't bring one.  They told us not to.  Others don't follow rules as well as I do, or don't love Oprah enough to follow them.  You decide which.  Pictures of Oprah line the walls.  Her 20 year anniversary DVD is playing scenes from OPRAH'S FAVORITE THINGS.   Is it a sign?  What about that tour bus we saw?

People ask me my story, as I am the obvious number one Oprah fan in the building.  After all, I am able to answer every Oprah-related question.  I explain that for 20 years, I have wanted to come to the show.  In the early years, of course, we wrote letters, not emails.  Mine mostly asked for a job, or commented on a show.  There may have been an over-the-top one or two begging to meet Bruce Springsteen (Had I been black flagged as a stalker fan? Would I ever see Oprah?).  I explained to the curious around me that in 1988, I had no VCR; so when I left for my 4 o'clock job, I would simply leave at 4:05.  I figured watching the opening of the show was more important than being on time.  This was back in the day when Oprah started all her shows in the audience,  because after introducing the guests, she and the audience would ask the panel questions.  I needed to see those guests and find out what the topic was before I turned on my cassette recorder.  Yes, I said cassette recorder.  Those existed back in the day.  I would record the sound and listen to the show later, the images of the guests still in my mind.  I did this three times a week for a whole season.  I couldn't afford a VCR and Tivo didn't exist.  Oh, I was a hard-core fan.  (Side note, I went to work at 5 on the day Oprah pulled out a wagon of fat.)  I have seen or heard every show for 20 years.  I have sent many an email....many show ideas.....I'm on the web page weekly trying to find out when to call in.  I have students in my study hall help me call in, but to no avail.  Until.

Until one email.  One fateful check of the web page.  One find day in the spring, the time of re-birth and renewal.  I see a request for people to write in who have never seen Oprah but want to - THAT'S me!!  I send my above-mentioned story. Pick me! They do.  They call.  I miss it.  Yes, readers, I've waited 20 years for that call, and I miss it.  I miss the call.   Fortunately, I am checking regularly for a text message from my sister and notice I missed the call.  I check the message.  The Oprah show wants to know if I want tickets.  Do I want tickets?  Do I want breath? Life? Sustenance? Yes, I do.  I pace; I panic; I call back and get a recording.  It's Theresa from Audience Reservation's voice mail and her voice assures me they have my tickets , to leave a message, she will get back to me.

Those were a long six hours.  I spent part of it crying, part staring at every phone in my house, scribbling "please call back" on a notepad. I sent out an S.O.S to my facebook friends to please start praying.   Theresa was true to her word.  She called back and offered two tickets to quite possibly the most ecstatic fan in the history of ecstasy.  The rest is the written history above.  Let's now fast forward back to me.  And my husband, one of 12 men, sitting in the studio foyer, waiting to enter the actual studio.  Finally we do. Our seats are in the front row of the second section.  The stage is set up like an outdoor deck.  WHAT IS THE TOPIC? We wait; we kabitz; we dream.

Finally, it's about to begin; the excitement is tangible.  And in she walks.  A beauty in an orange tunic.  She enters to my left, passes a breath's length in front of me.  I expectantly reach out a single, quivering hand and whisper "Oprah."  She stops, turns, and takes my hand.  She looks at me.  Only me.  Only my hand.  I and grateful and tearful and joyful all at once.  I can watch a show on any topic now.  The dream is real.  There goes my girl.  She starts our show.

Oprah speaks: "I told the producers I didn't want to do this show.  My name's on the show.  But they talked me into it.  I usually only give away things once a year...."  There may be more, but the the crowd erupts into hysterical screams.  IT'S A GIVE AWAY SHOW!!!!! The Oprah show jackpot and we hit it!!  We scream.  We clap.  We jump up and down.  We hug all around us.  We scream some more.  I actually may have blacked out for a few minutes.  Who knows?!  I know this is a dream come true.  Brian yells, "I knew it!"  We had made our dream boards in February.  Oprah is at the top of mine.  After the call from Theresa, we added "favorite things" as our dream topic.  Oprah would be spending the whole time talking to the audience and giving to us.  More than I could have imagined.

First up, Oprah tells us about a turkey burger she had at Donald Trumps resort.  She wanted the secret recipe, so The Donald himself delivers it to her and us!  Then she gives us all a Weber Grill to make the burger ourselves.

Next up Heidi Klum.  She narrates a fashion show and Oprah gives us fit flops and Yummie Tummie tank tops.  One set for me; one set for my husband.  So really...all for me!

Next, Oprah brings out a gorgeous travel bag, and in it: A GPS system and gift card to the Marriot - around $700 worth of gifts!  Again, times two.  The crowd is delirious with joy.

Gayle King, Oprah's best friend, comes out next.  She does a segment on make-up.  We go home with hundreds of dollars worth of O's top picks for make-up.  We also get at O Magazine Cookbook and A NEW EARTH CD and book.

The stage crew then appears and rearranges the stage.  For a concert.  We know who's coming.  Brian has been looking over the camera guy's shoulder the whole time and reading camera prompts.  Up next, the amazing Mary J. Blige.  Oprah sits in the audience with Gayle, waiting.  She doesn't talk to me, but she's closer now.  Maybe ten feet away, and I just take it all in .  I don't want it to go too fast.  I don't want to miss any chance to be in the present.  I'm there.  She's there.  I watch her and Mary J. as Mary J. sings "Come Down."  Then we get MJB's CD.  Oh yes, Mary J. is beautiful, but she can't outshine Oprah, not in my eyes.  

The show is ending.  It's been awesome.  Uh Oh.  A glitch.  Oprah pulled out a red Marriot gift card and it was suppposed to be green.  They have to re-shoot the segment.  They have to take down the concert stage and set the outdoor deck stage back up again.  Twenty-five extra minutes with Oprah.  How great is that?!!  She stands on the stage and talks to us.  She tells us she is taking her whole work force and all the families on a cruise.  We bask as she shares.  She does a little bit from a scene in THE COLOR PURPLE.  We re-shoot with the same excitement.  It draws to a close and we say good-bye.  I am grateful and full.

We do have to wait and sign papers, tax forms (Oprah  pays all the gift tax), and pick up our goodies that aren't being sent to us.  We joyfully get everything, as well as our coats, as we walk out into a sunny late morning.  The next show is lined up.  They'll see the cast of the Mary Tyler Moore show, but they want to be us.  A reporter tries to get the scoop from us, but we signed confidentiality agreements saying we won't disclose Oprah's Hot Picks, until today.  As we pass the reporter by, we head to the O store.  I want to buy a mug.  We are flying high and hit the road, less than 24 hours from when we arrived.  But our mission is complete.  My dream has been realized.  The Chicago skyline shines in the sun behind us as we leave the windy city.

We arrive home at midnight.  The road trip home was full of phone calls to tell excited friends and family.   Neither of us could sleep on that trip home.  And my first waking thought when I rouse from my slumber the next morning = Oprah.  Thank you, God, for this gift.

SO GLAD TOM IS BACK! TOM BERGERON, that is!!

Tom Bergeron visited Oprah before this season's Dancing with the Stars started and I said to myself they have chemistry.  They work well together. If Oprah ever needs to be Regis and Kelly, she's found her Regis.  Well, Tom "Regis" Bergeron was on Thursday's show, and he brought hysterical video clips. Laughing babies, shots to the groin, and even a little girl who thinks a mannequin is her daddy.  

Laughing at real life and finding  those moments of hilarity make Funniest Videos a hit.  Pets, pranks, and pitfalls all add up to a lot of laughs.  Someone told me today that adults on average laugh four times a day and kids laugh 196 times a day.  Well, first that is so sad for adults.  Now, I don't know who these adults are because I'm laughing way more than that and so are my friends, but that's the so called average.  Well thankfully Tom and Oprah found many ways to make us laugh today.  And if you weren't laughing, well then your funny bone has been removed.  Because that kid doing the Macarena was knee slapping funny!  

Holy crap! And I'm not kidding.  Oprah is talking to Henry and he is sitting in the EXXXXACCCT  same seat I sat in when I visited the Oprah studio.  Wow, the memories are flooding back.  That was some great day.  Remember, Oprah, you shook my hand that day.  Henry, that is a lucky seat.  

Pets are funny too.  Cats fall downstairs; poodles dance the conga; and dogs can talk.  Apparently husbands can be pets too.  One woman locked her husband out of the house, the minivan, all sorts of places.  His way to gain entry? Dance the running man.  She got it all on tape...a sort of "running" joke, but it won them tons of cash on America's Funniest Video.  This show's been making us laugh for almost twenty years.  680,000 videos since the show began.  It gets all of us closer to those 196 laughs we need per day.  Cuz four is just ridiculously too few. 

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler shared part of this show; you know to bring some more of those laughs.  They packed up for a road trip.  Brought a a mixer and an attitude journal and hit the road.  Well, not really.  But the bit got us in the mood for their on-stage interview.  Oprah told them their two hour "road trip" was way smarter than the 11 day one she took with Gayle.  Although, that hysterical trip came up as dinner conversation tonight.  It may have been directed there when I mentioned Gayle was at the taping I had gone to, which airs tomorrow, but hey, people are still talking about it.   Amy revealed big news.  Before she was Amy Poehler, she waited on Oprah in a restaurant and Oprah ordered a veggie pizza.  It was apparently the highlight of her life until actually sitting on the show with Oprah.  Duh!?  Then Tina started vying for Oprah fan cred by saying she wanted O.W. to host SNL.  Umm, hmmm, I want get in on this fight for number one fan status.  But they are there and I'm merely blogging.  But I'm laughing and thanks to this show have moved way past my 196 laughs.  And I have tomorrow to watch the show that I was at...yes, the show when Oprah shook my hand and gave me prizes and did more than give me my laugh quota; she made my dreams come true.

THE MYSTERIOUS WORLD OF POLYGAMY

A sixteen year old from Eldorado makes a phone call from a polygamist compound, allegedly.   Warren Jeffs's polygamist sect had been highly secretive prior to that phone call, but Texas child protective services swooped in and took care of 400 plus children.  Oprah sent Lisa Ling to do a special investigation on this alleged cult.  Amazingly, by being with the Oprah show, Ling got permission to enter the closed and guarded compound.  "With the Oprah show."  Four words spoken by Lisa Ling, and the gate opened. 

Three women spoke with Lisa Ling and expressed their distress at losing their children.  These woman sounded less robotic to me than other women from the compound that I had seen interviewed on other shows.  But they still had the same dress, the same hairstyles.  And still proclaimed there was nothing unusual going on at the compound.  And they still had pictures of Warren Jeffs on the walls.  Now, I know there are lots of evils and lots of creepiness in the world outside that compound, but to have a picture of a man convicted of accessory to rape on the walls in children's bedrooms seems just plain wrong.  

Elissa Wall was fourteen when she was forced to marry her cousin.  She helped explain that the followers inside the  compound really don't think what they are doing is wrong.  That a woman's greatest honor is to marry.  Elissa didn't necessarily feel that way and begged and petitioned to wait at least two years before getting married.  But that petitioned was denied and Elissa got married not knowing that sex even existed, let alone that it was in her very near future.  For a society that has a bed in church and that marries off young children, Elissa didn't even know where babies came from.  She was taught they came from heaven.  Elissa went on to help convict Warren Jeffs, leave the cult, write a book, and find herself on Oprah's couch.  Elissa seems pretty well-spoken and self-assured.  She tells a compelling story.  She escaped and has a new husband and two children.  And got a new hair style, duly noted by Oprah.

Oprah via Lisa Ling also visited an abandoned school that was run by Warren Jeffs.  He was the principal.  It had secret rooms, birthing centers, and basement baptismal. Ling described a dark presence as she walked through a maze of rooms with secret tunnels.  The curriculum was designed by Jeffs and altered history, anatomy, and even the moon walk.  Again, there are lots of things wrong in this world, but the creepiness in this place could be sensed right through the t.v.  And thankfully there are some who will help woman and children escape if they so desire. Now, I'm not saying different is wrong, but I'm all for free choice and possibilities and women having a voice. Maybe that's the part of the creepiness.  

What would it be like to be a girl and  to go from that place to this world?  From those worries to the worries in the outside world?  How do you absorb the differences? The changes?  What does that feel like?  What thoughts accompany that transition?  I wanted to know.  Oprah wanted to know.  She asked, but none of that was really answered.  Maybe it can't be put in words.  Maybe there is some fear that it's worse on the outside.  Maybe there's still fear and respect for that former life.  Freedom to think, to leave, to get information to make decisions.  What can replace that?  I am a spiritual person, but I got to choose that spirituality and that makes it all the more precious to me.  I wish that for those women, and yes, even for the men who are part of that culture.  Thanks to Oprah and Lisa Ling for shedding some light.

I DON'T WANT TO BE UNDER HYPNOSIS ON T.V.

I like being on t.v.  I think it's fun. But, I don't want to be on t.v. with my eyes closed, my head lolling to the side, possibly having a bit a drool in the corner of my mouth.  Especially on Oprah.  But Tuesday's show was about hypnosis and past life regression.  The audience was put under mass hypnosis.  Would I have liked it more if Oprah was being hypnotized too? Well, duh! Of course, but she watched backstage.   I mean, how would I have been able to focus on my so called past lives when all I'd really be thinking is "when's Oprah coming out"?

Although Oprah did ask the audience questions.  I would have made up the best possible answers to get some talk time with my girl, O.W.  One lady told about being murdered.  One African-American woman was white and a nun in a former life.  If she was making that up for attention, I have to give her kudos.  All of the responders were women and none leaned into the unseen microphone to speak.  When I was at the Oprah show, two Tuesdays ago, the studio manager had us all practice NOT leaning into the microphone in case we did speak.  Now I know, that was a random interjection, but I had to make sure that I reminded any readers that yes, I have been in the studio audience.

This is new Oprah information:  she has the eye rolling abilities that all hypno-therapists crave in their subjects.  I guess she's good at everything.  But Oprah has never been hypnotized because she is fearful of what might happen.  Oh, oh, just saw a commercial for next Monday's show - that was the show being taped AFTER the Oprah show I was at...the show AFTER Oprah's Hot Picks for Summer Show.  Now that's a sort of digression that will be common on this blog, but not at all on the topic of regression that Dr. Brian Weiss brought to Oprah.  He wants to talk about past lives.  Dr. Oz is there too.  Helping, guiding, going on his own journey.  But first up, Leon.  He's from a former show on quitting smoking.  A few people from that show have made return trips to Oprah.   It seems unfair that the vile habit of smoking has garnered such rewards, although maybe it's the purifying act of quitting that's being rewarded.  I have no such disgusting habit to give up, so I won't get to the Oprah stage that way.  I'll have to wait until she has me on as Bruce Springsteen's biggest fan ever.  Ever.

Back to Leon.  Leon quit smoking 65 days ago.  I remember him from the past show.  He already looks a lot younger and much healthier.  He's a funeral director, so he's around death a lot.  And he's getting hypnotized.  He goes to his childhood and then to being some sort of past life pilot.  I did feel Dr. Weiss was offering a lot of  suggestions that Leon then agreed to - memories or planted suggestions?  Viewers? Dr. Weiss mentions a gun; then Leon talks about not shooting.  He tells him the plane crashes and he's no longer a soldier.  Leon doesn't say it.  Hmmmm.  But after, Leon says it felt like he was there and can feel it.  And he has flying dreams every night.  Leon also senses emotions from dead people.  

I'm skeptical.  But Leon's nest experience goes to a time he saw a stranger in a past life being raped.  That soul later becomes his sister.  The sister he has a bad relationship with, but now Leon feels that relationship is healed by experiencing this regression. Did I explain that well? Not sure. It was a bit confusing to watch too.  Leon's sister sounded a bit skeptical too, but I can't speak for her.  Except this is my blog.  So I can a little. 

Dr. Oz is skeptical too. He likes data.  Well he used the word "uncomfortable," and, in his hynpo-sessio, he remembered a dream he had before he was in kindergarten.  He also went to some sort of a light.  And he did say there are some things we don't understand.  I'm all for leaps of faith myself and all things spiritual.  Not into the past lives, though.  Got enough on my plate with this life.   Guess I'm into "I've got this one life to live and I better make the best of it."  And right now I'm into finishing this blog and am standing by the title of today's entry, as did Oprah, and saying "I don't want to be hypnotized on t.v." So today, I'll just blog about it.

OPRAH SHOWCASES YOUNG TALENT

Oprah can even interview children!! The queen of talk doesn't need verbose adults or dramatic situations to make a show come together.  Oprah can work with anyone.  On Monday's show, Oprah showcased extraordinary kids; and yes, they were cute and they had talent, but leave it to Winfrey to make those young ones shine.

Oprah started her show in the audience (those lucky gals who got to sit around her looked like they not only got some great tv time, but some Oprah face time) while cute kids, all nine and under opened her show.  The cutest by far was seven year old Ethan.  He plays the piano, even if the music is upside down.  According to the adorable Ethan, he can learn a song in "two or one minutes."  He did remind the audience, though, that "you have to stay humble."  Oprah's interview skills shined, as she just let him share his youthful wisdom.

Nearly as cute was three year old Julian.  He plays the drums.  He likes the Beatles.  He played BrickHouse!! Quinn is nine and loves the guitar.  He writes his own music after doing his homework; you know, typical nine year old doings.  Ricki and Erik are future DANCING WITH THE STARS, well, stars.  Seven year old ballroom dancers; reigning champs in their age group.  Amazing.

Now, having finally gone to the Oprah Winfrey show myself, two Tuesdays ago, this blog will be forever colored by what I will imagine to be my vast behind the scenes Oprah expertise (make sure you look for my up close and personal take on that aforementioned show, which airs Friday and will be blogged then too).  That fabulous experience, two Tuesdays ago, included seeing the wonderful and ever-present stage manager, Dean.  Well, Dean got some face time on Oprah today.  And seriously, folks, take my word for it; Dean looks even better in person.  Of course, he is all business.  When I was at the show (that phrase is going to be used A LOT in Oprahblog) there was even a time when Oprah did a bit from THE COLOR PURPLE.  It seemed that Dean would rather be filming the show, not listening to bits...and Oprah knew it, so she did just a little more of the scene.  Good times.

Anywho, off of the Deanster, and on with the show.  Next up, singing sensation Charice Pempengco.  Charice is also a youtube.com sensation, if you want to check her out there.  Charice did try to outdo me by traveling 8000 miles on a 15 hour flight to be with Oprah.   I traveled 12 hours in a car and only 700 miles, but hey, I wasn't getting the chance of a lifetime by performing on her stage.  I made that huge sacrifice to sit in the audience.  Now I'm not complaining.  Oh, no.  Well worth it.  I'd do it again tomorrow.  I'm just saying since I then turned around, less than 24 hours later, and drove back home, another 12 hours, that maybe my trek was a little more amazing and noteworthy, but I digress (shocking!).  And let's face it, Charice can sing, and I hate to admit it, her outfit was way cuter than the one I wore to Oprah.  Also, it looked to me (now remember, I've been in the studio and have a pretty good sense of the layout) like Oprah was actually standing and watching Charice from the very spot in the audience that I had been sitting two Tuesdays ago.  That made me a little bit jealous of those audience members.  I also wondered why Charice didn't take more of her singing and hand-gesturing time and direct it towards Oprah, but she totally made up for that after the song by crying into O.W.'s bosom and saying it was a dream come true for her - the singing part, not the crying part.  Again, jealousy is rearing its ugly head;  I mean why can't I be a teen singing sensation who caught Oprah's eye?

Up next: Quincy, happy feet.  The cutey from the McDonald's commercial taught the audience to do the cha-cha slide.  And some random people from Houston.  Since this is a new blog, you might need to know this about me: I want every special guest on the show to be me.  Even people in Houston learning to do some dance inspired by a hamburger advertisement.  It was sooooo obvious, too, those Houston people had been practicing;  they did not just learn that dance.

Lilly Gason is not even three or potty trained, yet she is an geography expert.  She's also a youtube.come star and a mini-GPS all rolled into one.  She also REALLY likes to clap.  I think clapping is her favorite.  I think I liked watching her clap more than I liked having her find Turkey on a map.

Next, two stars from the upcoming movie KIT KITTREDGE.  Abigail Breslin and Willow Smith were as cute as two peas in a pod.  Although....they weren't able/ willing to travel 15 hours to be with Oprah.  They beamed in via satellite from Pasadena.  Did I mention, I drove 24 hours in two days to go to the show?

What the hey??  Oprah's loving audience shots today.  She's popping up everywhere in the studio, even allowing Guyland, the accordion player, to get into the audience groove.  Bet those spectators are loving the chance to get their mugs on t.v.  And all of them in those pink and green outfits.  Those colors were VERY popular when I was there too!  Guyland plays so hot because his great grandfather came to him in a dream and showed him how to play that way.  He's never taken a lesson!

Nancy can't drive, but she's a published author.  A best-selling author.  She reads a book every two days.  Now we know Oprah loves that.  Maybe Winfrey will make Nancy Yi Fan's book, SWORDFISH, a book club suggestion.  Nancy was adorable and looked like she knew piano-playing Ethan's credo of "you have to stay humble," because she exuded a genuine gratitude for her success.

Thanks, O.W. for your parade of talented youngsters.  Thanks, Oprahblog readers.  I hope to post about Oprah as much as I can.  And I hope you read them as much as you can.  Check out Friday's extra-special edition (from the recorded show of when I was THERE - not sure if I mentioned that!!).